Browsing All Posts filed under »Pop Culture Candy«

The Only Noises Worse than Christian Bale’s Batman Voice

July 14, 2012 by

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With The Dark Knight Rises only days away, I thought it appropriate to list the top ten sounds in the world that I find more annoying than Christian Bale’s odd, seemingly Hemorrhoid-induced portrayal of Batman’s angry-time voice. 10. Children laughing. 9. Taylor Swift. 8. The emergency broadcast warning signal. 7. Anything Steve Doocy says, ever, ever. […]

5 Posts That Justify Facebook News Feed Banning

April 23, 2011 by

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5. Poop Go Down the Hole. Any mention of your bowels, potty experience, or generally anything involving bodily expulsions. I’m not your mother. I don’t care. And neither does Facebook. 4. Crazy Una-Bomber Political Talk. Obama was born in Hawaii. Bush didn’t cause 9-11. And if you post otherwise to Facebook, you either have a […]

Stolen Diaries: Angelina Jolie

January 18, 2011 by

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Monday, January 17th 2011 Dear Diary, Today I awoke with a bit of a hangover. The Golden Globes were a spectacular failure. Though I wouldn’t consider The Tourist my finest work, I’d hoped that my threats to make a sequel to Salt would get me the trophy. Adopted 12 more kids this week. Well, Brad […]

Stolen Diaries: Brett Favre

November 15, 2010 by

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November 15th, 2010 Dear Diary, Lost another game yesterday. To the Bears. The freakin’ Bears! They’re horrible.  Jay Cutler doesn’t even have a neck. Just one long chin that makes him look like if Droopy Dog and a tree stump had a baby. Really getting tired of Coach Childress, too. He won’t let me near […]

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part II

August 3, 2010 by

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Bravely continuing on with the sacrifice of my manhood… 5.  Angel (David Boreanaz), Angel I sum up this selection by referencing Wedding Crashers.  You remember some bratty little kid demands that Vince Vaughn make him a balloon bicycle? And Vince says, “All right, I’m going to make you a bicycle. But I don’t want to […]

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part I

July 29, 2010 by

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A quick prologue…. I’ve chosen to ignore, and mock, reader suggestion Jackson Rothbone. (Don’t feel bad reader—teasing, I’ve been told, is one of my love languages.) Firstly, because I know many of you love it, I’m willing to forgive vampires in Twilight.  They can’t help it that Stephanie Meyer sold her soul to the devil […]

No Pulse, No Problem: The Hottest Female Vampires

July 20, 2010 by

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By Brad White America loves a sucker. No, I’m not talking about Jessica Simpson and chicken of the sea, also known as tuna fish.  And I’m not referencing anyone who truly believes Taylor Swift can sing live.  And I definitely do not mean anyone who thought an alcohol monitor would slow down Lindsay’s party. I’m […]