Browsing All Posts filed under »Pop Culture Candy«

The Only Noises Worse than Christian Bale’s Batman Voice

July 14, 2012 by


With The Dark Knight Rises only days away, I thought it appropriate to list the top ten sounds in the world that I find more annoying than Christian Bale’s odd, seemingly Hemorrhoid-induced portrayal of Batman’s angry-time voice. 10. Children laughing. 9. Taylor Swift. 8. The emergency broadcast warning signal. 7. Anything Steve Doocy says, ever, ever. […]

5 Posts That Justify Facebook News Feed Banning

April 23, 2011 by


5. Poop Go Down the Hole. Any mention of your bowels, potty experience, or generally anything involving bodily expulsions. I’m not your mother. I don’t care. And neither does Facebook. 4. Crazy Una-Bomber Political Talk. Obama was born in Hawaii. Bush didn’t cause 9-11. And if you post otherwise to Facebook, you either have a […]

Stolen Diaries: Angelina Jolie

January 18, 2011 by


Monday, January 17th 2011 Dear Diary, Today I awoke with a bit of a hangover. The Golden Globes were a spectacular failure. Though I wouldn’t consider The Tourist my finest work, I’d hoped that my threats to make a sequel to Salt would get me the trophy. Adopted 12 more kids this week. Well, Brad […]

Stolen Diaries: Brett Favre

November 15, 2010 by


November 15th, 2010 Dear Diary, Lost another game yesterday. To the Bears. The freakin’ Bears! They’re horrible.  Jay Cutler doesn’t even have a neck. Just one long chin that makes him look like if Droopy Dog and a tree stump had a baby. Really getting tired of Coach Childress, too. He won’t let me near […]

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part II

August 3, 2010 by


Bravely continuing on with the sacrifice of my manhood… 5.  Angel (David Boreanaz), Angel I sum up this selection by referencing Wedding Crashers.  You remember some bratty little kid demands that Vince Vaughn make him a balloon bicycle? And Vince says, “All right, I’m going to make you a bicycle. But I don’t want to […]

No Pulse, No Problem: Hottest Male Vampires Part I

July 29, 2010 by


A quick prologue…. I’ve chosen to ignore, and mock, reader suggestion Jackson Rothbone. (Don’t feel bad reader—teasing, I’ve been told, is one of my love languages.) Firstly, because I know many of you love it, I’m willing to forgive vampires in Twilight.  They can’t help it that Stephanie Meyer sold her soul to the devil […]

No Pulse, No Problem: The Hottest Female Vampires

July 20, 2010 by


By Brad White America loves a sucker. No, I’m not talking about Jessica Simpson and chicken of the sea, also known as tuna fish.  And I’m not referencing anyone who truly believes Taylor Swift can sing live.  And I definitely do not mean anyone who thought an alcohol monitor would slow down Lindsay’s party. I’m […]