Browsing All Posts filed under »Sports«

Stolen Diaries: LeBron James

December 2, 2010 by


12/2/2010 Dear Diary, Sucks being back in Cleveland. Really hate all this snow and street feces. Home town or not, Miami is much better than C-Town. Sure, we don’t win as much as I did in Cleveland, and I’m pretty sure my teammate Chris’s parents are RuPaul and an Avatar, but at least there aren’t […]

Stolen Diaries: Brett Favre

November 15, 2010 by


November 15th, 2010 Dear Diary, Lost another game yesterday. To the Bears. The freakin’ Bears! They’re horrible.  Jay Cutler doesn’t even have a neck. Just one long chin that makes him look like if Droopy Dog and a tree stump had a baby. Really getting tired of Coach Childress, too. He won’t let me near […]

Halloween Special: Five NFL Frights

October 31, 2010 by


As I watch football on Halloween, it occurred to me that this league can be a very frightening place, with monsters seemingly around every stadium’s corner. Thus, in honor of my favorite sport and second favorite holiday, here is my list for the Five Frights of NFL Football. 1.      Getting a picture message from Brett […]

Cleveland–He’s Just Not That Into You

July 11, 2010 by


Darth LeBron has made his decision.  The Death Star stands intact.  Evil times are upon the NBA.  LeBron shirked his duty as the savior of the Cleveland economy as well as the city’s apparently fragile psyche. And Lindsey Lohan is on her way to prison. BP still hasn’t plugged the hole it blew open in […]

LeBron: Non-Killer

July 3, 2010 by


So the Knicks put together a package wherein marketing experts told him he could earn as much as 2 billion, that’s right—BILLION with a “B.” As in what Halliburton made during the first hour of the Iraq War. As in what Elin Woods hopes to get in the divorce. As in how much you could […]

Bradmouthin the 2010 NBA Draft

June 24, 2010 by


Click Here To Read My Running Diary of the NBA Lottery Picks for 2010!

How to Become a Mortal in 10 Days

June 20, 2010 by


Tiger Woods was Hercules.  For more than ten years he’s been the God come down from the finest golf course on Mount Olympus to show us mortals how insignificant our records and up and down abilities truly were.  And we loved him for it.  No—we worshiped him as a golf deity who rewarded our adulation […]