I didn’t want to watch Glee.
In fact, I can say that I successfully and artfully dodged all the rabid exhortations from friends and family to watch the first season. Not even when my brother expertly performed the entire Brittney Spears episode, word for word and step for step, did I relent.
(Actually that’s not true. He only told me about it. And as he dwarfs me in stature—a grizzly bear to my pug—let’s not mention I said that.)
Unlike Mark Sanchez, I had better things to do than deal with teen angst on a weekly basis. (Google his name and move down the results until you see the number “17.” You’ll get the joke).
And though I’m fairly high on the metro-sexual scale of masculinity—somewhere above cool with shopping at Express for Men but still far below skinny jeans—I just wasn’t going to be force fed from the Pop Culture Poop Monster any more.
You know of this Poop Monster.
It’s the same evil beast that makes sure you have kids in the car when Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber spray their rainbow tinted vomit through the radio and directly at your ear canal. The Poop Monster knows that turning the channel would set into motion the greatest hissy fit since the U.S. asked Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev to get those pesky little missiles out of Cuba.
Or, for our younger readers, since the city of Los Angeles politely asked Ke$ha to go easy on the booze.
(Reader’s note: #342 why I LOVE Ke$ha. She lists Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash as two of her musical influences. With lyrics like… (click for classy video):
I’m tellin’ you ’bout the sh** we do
…how could she not list them as influences?)
But I don’t have kids. And I fear no Poop monster. So I refused to get sucked in.
Until I found myself without employment.
Wait. Stay with me.
When you’re bumming a room from your brother, and there is only one TV you have access to, and it is set to Glee (remember, he could snap my arm like Adrian Brody’s nose if he wanted), you can either go sit silently in your room, hope to catch the Grizzly Bear off guard for one good shot with a frying pan, or you do the unthinkable…watch Glee.
One stupidly fun cover of “Telephone” later, and I’m now officially more addicted to this sweet pop candy than Charlie Sheen is to…well…that’s just too easy. I’ll let you insert your own comical analogy.
The show does what Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer did more than ten years earlier—it manages to take the peaks and valleys from an emotionally tumultuous part of life—adolescence to early adulthood—and couch it inside a hellaciously cool framework.
For Buffy it was vampires and demons. With Glee it’s pitch perfect covers and usually impressive, almost as good as Step Up 2 like dance numbers. (And Glee even plucked the best dancer from that movie).
Don’t get me wrong, some plot lines are preposterous, such as the morbidly obese student who draws the relentless sexual attention of one the show’s beaus. (I don’t think girls should try and be Taylor Swift transparent skinny, but this gal is one more latte from a massive coronary.)
But other ridiculous storylines are wildly entertaining, such as the bad girl of the show wielding mononucleosis as a tool for revenge. Even more funny when she reveals her own immunity, saying that she’s had mono so many times “it’s turned into stereo.
So, if you’re looking for cotton candy fun, and you don’t take yourself too seriously (your enjoyment of the Ke$ha video would be a good litmus test), then watch Glee on Tuesday nights.
Unless you limit yourself to one hour of television a week—then watch Justified.
Medeia Sharif
February 17, 2011
I haven’t seen Glee yet. I barely watch TV. 😦 Maybe I can catch it on Netflix or somewhere else.
Brad White
February 17, 2011
I think Hulu and Hulu Plus have it.
T.D. McFrost
February 17, 2011
I didn’t want to be a fan of Glee either. This might sound sordid, and oh so predictable, but I thought it was gay. Yes! Horror of horrors. It wasn’t until I saw the “Brittany” episode that my opinion totally changed. This show wasn’t a mass production of fairies belting out show tunes, it had hot chicks, crazy, funny cheerleading coaches and handicapable dudes who sang rap!
This was AWESOME!
So, yeah, now I try my best to watch it whenever I have nothing else to do. Kurt is funny and Brittany Pears is an absolute riot.
“I think my cat’s been reading my diary…”
(Santana makes a double take) LOL
Brad White
February 17, 2011
Exactly. My brother is in total love with Brittney. I prefer the main gal (who is soooo much hotter when she sings), with the mono avenger (hot evil Latina chick) a close second.
But i have to give him props. The main gay guy for the Warblers rocks out. Maybe the best singer on the show?
T.D. McFrost
February 17, 2011
Dude, Lea Michelle (the main girl) is a ugly chick who knows it. Have you ever seen her on the red carpet? I swear, everytime she’s on there she puts her right hand on her hip, places her right foot forward and contorts her face into one that can only be described as a meth addict who just had liposuction. Good lord girl, just stand and pose normally like everyone else. As is, she is trying way too hard to look good, when she totally isn’t.
My favorite girl will have to be the main cheerleader (forgot her name), not Brittany or Santana, but the other blonde one who was pregnant. She’s smoking!
As for the best male singer. . .that honor goes to Arty and the blonde dude on the football team. I’m leaning toward the blonde jock, ’cause he can REALLY sing, but I like the fact that Arty is a white dude, in a wheelchair, who raps. That is just groundbreaking right there, and totally defies the mold.
Keep it comin’ Brad! And how do I follow you n this thing?
Anonymous
March 10, 2011
your the meanest person ive ever seen!!!!!! she is beautiful and your just jelious
dahedgehog
February 17, 2011
Seriously .. a pro-Glee article
Brad White
February 17, 2011
Who are you? Do you write articles or something?
Brad White
February 17, 2011
TD-We’re easy to follow. The easiest way–if you Facebook– is to click on the big Blue B which will lead you to our fan site. You can follow us there.
Also, you can scroll down to the Become a Bradmouth Minion button. Any love you want to spread for us on Facebook or Twitter would be much appreciated. And if you ever think you have an article that might fit in here, shoot me an email kingjohn33@gmail.com. I can be picky, but if it’s funny, who knows?
And I agree Quinn is hot. But I prefer quirky brunettes.
T.D. McFrost
February 17, 2011
I’m not on Facebook or Twitter at the moment. I’m waiting until I actually have a reason, considering they are more or less promotional tools than anything else (don’t get me started on this debate). And besides, I’m too rowdy to be on those sites at the moment (need to simmer into an adult first); if I were, my pictures and tweets will be very…”ungentlemanlike”, indeed. Ha!
I’ll definitely become a minion. And I will most certainly shoot you up at that email address.
Can’t wait for tomorrow’s blog post.
Peace.
p.s. Dated a brunette once, though she was more crazy than quirky. Let’s just say, I carry a box of Cocoa Puffs with me at all times. Word is, the crazies go coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.
Or did I miss something?
Brad White
February 17, 2011
I’m a shameless self-promoter, so social media and I work well togther.
Thanks for reading. However, due to work and general laziness…we usually do well to post once a week.
I prefer Cap N’ Crunch.
Elaine
February 21, 2011
You’ve come to the dark side, The Brad, and it is shiny, happy, in tune and totally sprinkled with love.
Brad White
February 21, 2011
Happy to be here. Thanks. Loving the sprinkles.
annie
February 22, 2011
i can’t do it. can’t do it, Brad. can’t watch glee. my husband and I made three wedding vows. 1: no rooting for the cowboys 2: we will always be a family that high-fives 3: NO SHOW TUNES…. EVER (I think Glee falls into this category)
forgive me for the rain-manesque way I phrased the first couple of sentences there.
Brad White
February 23, 2011
It is soooooo not show tunes. But it may be a bit too racy for some. I never had so much fun watching America’s youth be destroyed. (Who are kidding, though? Madonna took care of that 20 years ago, and Ke$sha has now finished the job.)
Tabitha
February 24, 2011
Ah! Eee! My brain is hurting! I just can’t process that comparison of Buffy to Glee. It makes me twitch.
Though, to be fair, I’ve never seen Glee, and like you, have successfully avoided it like the plague.
Until now. Gah! That Buffy-Glee thing is stuck in my brain like a skipping record, and I’m thinking the only way to stop it is to…watch…..Glee. You should work for the department of defense or something, because you successfully stripped down mine in 15.3 seconds.
🙂
Brad White
February 24, 2011
My plan succeeded. And how do you know I don’t work for the Dept. of Defense?
Tabitha
February 24, 2011
Well, since you stated in your post that you’re unemployed… 😉
T.D. McFrost
February 25, 2011
When are you gonna post something Brad? I’ve been waiting all week!
Tamber
April 14, 2011
V7u1gE That’s way more clever than I was ecpxeting. Thanks!